It'll either hurt really bad or really good
by blondevil
Summary: AU Zexion and Marluxia are college students who don’t know each other. This is what happens when Marluxia decides to pursue Zexion’s affections. Rated T for Zexion’s extensive swearing and Marluxia’s perverted mind. Marxion fluff


I wrote this for Vermillion Lies as a Christmas present. She told me to post it, and share the marxion love, so it is now posted. They're massively OOC, but I've always imagined Zexy as a bitter bitch and Marly as a flamboyantly gay pervert, so in my mind they are totally IC. The tense is kind of awkward, but I wanted to try present tense, so it would sound like they were narrating their lives to some imagined third party, so yeah, I like it.

ZEXION

It's no fun being stalked by someone when you know they're there. In fact, I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy it even if I didn't know he was there. However, the guy stalking me now fucking sucks at it. He's always there, like a shadow, but with pink hair, and the strong aroma of flowers. I'm not sure what type, but it's kind of nauseating. Anyway, having his constant presence is epically annoying and now it's time for it to stop.

Don't get me wrong, I've tried to confront the stupid idiot. I've chased him down alleyways, cornered him in stores, and even pointed at him and asked, "Hey dude! With the pink hair! Why are you following me?" The problem is, he's always managed to slip away. . For some reason, the dude just doesn't want to be confronted. I guess I could let him stalk me in peace.

But it's fucking annoying, being watched like this, so on with my Master Plan. I, Zexion _____, have purchased a camera. I will use said camera (if I ever figure out how to use the fucking thing) to take a picture of my elusive stalker, then show it to people and see if anyone knows him. I figure if I at least know his name, then it'll be too weird for him and he'll stop stalking me. And if that doesn't work… restraining orders work just fine too.

But, in order to take a picture, I have to catch him unawares, so I'll wait until he's distracted then bolt any which way until I find a good spot to hide and I'll take his picture while he's searching for me. It's such a fucking good plan, it deserves capital letters.

So I'm sitting outside of a coffee shop owned by the resident millionaire of the town, Xemnas (he also owns the library I work at), when I see the perfect opportunity when stalker dude is being questioned by the waitress. I bolt towards the street when I find my flight cut short by a stupid fence. Seriously, who puts a one foot fence on the edge of a sidewalk, just begging to be tripped over? I don't have much time to ponder this however, as my face slams against the pavement and I hear a kind of smushing crack that tells me my nose is broken. The splintering pain is a good indicator too. Joy. Oh look, now there's a bicyclist coming towards me. This will be fun and painful. I wish I could prevent my head from being run over. While these thoughts only take about a second to flash through my mind, the bicyclist is about three seconds away. Thank god that in the last second, some kind soul decided to pull me out of the street, even if they did make my chin smash painfully into the curb. When I look up into the face of my rescuer, guess who it is- stalker dude! Oh fuck it.

"Thanks," I gurgle out, choking a bit on the blood pouring from my nose. Someone smushes a wad of tissues into my nose. Gee, thanks for making it hurt even more. Anyway, stalker guy smiles and says something he thinks is witty (I can tell cause he smiles sheepishly afterwards) but I cannot hear anything over this one waitress who is screeching at my blood. You don't like the sight of it lady? Try having it be yours. Someone comes and somehow tells me that they've called an ambulance, but I don't remember what they said. I think I'm loosing too much blood. Damn I'm pathetic, all this from one fall? I can't see anything anymore and my legs just gave out. Someone's holding me, I hope it's not stalker dude.

MARLUXIA

Oh my god. I'm holding him. In my arms. Wheeeeee! I think my brain just exploded. While I want my Zexy to be okay, I really don't want the ambulance to come, just so I can stay here with him. He smells faintly of books. Well I guess that makes sense, considering where he works-

Oh great, they're here. They were never this fast when I cut my finger off with my scythe. I just told the paramedics that we're brothers. Yay for me since they believe me and now, I get to go to the hospital with Zexy. They're asking me questions, pay attention Marluxia; he needs you to care for him.

It's a good thing I've stalked Zexy for so long, otherwise they wouldn't know his birthday, allergies, address, nor his medical history. Oh Zexy, how lucky you are. But waiting in the waiting room is not something I'm good at. I start to play with the little kids' toys. This Barbie's hair is the same color as mine. Mines better though. Hey, they say I can see him now! Ok, be cool Marluxia, be cool.

And there he is. His nose is all taped up, but he's still beautiful. He looks like he's going to get the nurse to send me away when he pauses then says, "Oh, hey bro."

This is apparently all the confirmation the nurse needed, cause she's gone now, the clicking of her heels fading into the distance. "Hi, I'm Marluxia," I say as suave as I can.

"Why are you stalking me?"

See, this is why I love him, he's so direct. And feisty. Rawr. "I had to follow someone for psych class and analyze them, I thought you looked interesting." I don't tell him that the assignment ended over a month ago.

He pauses, "Wait, do you have Mr. _______?" I nod. "See, normally I wouldn't take your excuse, but he really is that crazy to make students do such a stupid thing. But I don't care, just stop following me."

"But that's the problem," I start, moving closer to him. "I really don't wanna stop." His face is so cute when he's confused, "Because I've grown quite fond of you. In fact, I might even love you." I don't give him time to absorb this, as I've just pulled his lips toward mine and (minding his poor nose) I'm kissing him passionately.

ZEXION

My brain's frozen. Stalker dude, now Marluxia, is kissing me. And, coincidentally, stealing my kissing virginity. Damn him.

My sluggish brain finally tells my arms to push him away, but they don't listen, as they decided to punch him instead. My right fist hits his jaw and he falls away. Wow, that was fun. Oups, now he looks hurt, oh wait, I don't care. Fucker. I get up and start to walk out when he grabs my arm. "Why do you hate me?" He looks so pitiful, I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

"It's because I don't know you," I answer, but I'm pretty sure that even if I knew him, I wouldn't like him. I start walking again. He grabs me again.

"What if you did know me?" He's practically whining. I hope he doesn't start crying.

In an attempt to be nice (and stop him from crying) I tell him, "I don't know, maybe we could be friends, but not what you want us to be."

"How about we live together?" He suggests. My jaw drops and I can't think of any reply other than, "No thanks." He is starting to get angry.

"If you don't give me a chance, I'll tell everyone that you like Cher!" Oh great, the idiot has been following me for longer than I'd thought.

"So what, I don't care what people think of me," I secretly kinda do, but right now, I'm trying to get rid of Marluxia.

He smiles evilly, "If you don't live with me for a whole month, I'll tell everyone what you do with your mom's clothes when you think no one's watching. And show them the pictures. Come on, it won't be that bad, I need a place to stay and I did save your life." Oh fuck me with a rusty spoon, this little fucker has even followed me home from college. I guess stupid Marluxia could stay in my roommate's room since he's traveling right now.

"It wouldn't have killed me…" I mutter, but we both know that I'm cornered. "Fine, but no more touching me. Otherwise the deal's off. I'll just have to move to another town." He nods and we shake on it. There's a glint in his eyes that I really don't like the look of. I feel like I've just signed my soul away.

MARLUXIA

Yes! I did it! He has to put up with me for a whole month! Now my challenge is to seduce him in the next four weeks without him knowing what's happening. It's totally genius! Then, me and Zexy will live happily ever after. Just like a prince and princess from a faerie tale!

Oh, he's talking again. His voice is so deadpan; we should probably work on that. I wonder if he's this emotionless when he's having sex. I should ask around. Who knows who Zexy's slept with. I'll bet he's a screamer. The quiet ones always are.

Oh right, I should be listening. He's telling me where his apartment is. Hah, like I don't know that. And that his roommate isn't home. Seriously, what kind of a stalker would I be if I didn't know this stuff?

This is going to be so much fun! I love a challenge like silly Zexy, I wonder how he'd react if I called him that. Lemmie try, "Okay Zexy, this is gonna be super fun!"

Ow. He punched me again. Oh well, the things I do for love.

ZEXION

Day One – The dude's moved in. How many fuzzy things can a guy own before he starts being called a faggot? Oh, wait, he actually is one. Stupid annoying fucker. I hate him. And his stupid flower smell.

MARLUXIA

Day Three – I've been really quiet and out of the way, fitting in with Zexy's schedule as much as I can. I walk him to class and cook dinner for him. Today I convinced Zexy to come to the movies. It was one of those movies about a dog that dies in the end. I started crying on Zexy's shoulder and he let me stay there until I stopped. Course, he punched me afterwards, but I still love him.

ZEXION

Day Four – Alright, this isn't as bad as I would have thought. I hate to admit it, but the little fucker is really nice to me, and even though he treats me like I'm his boyfriend, I don't actually mind it as long as there's no touching.

Day Five – Oh dear fucking god, what have I done to deserve this? He's been playing loud happy techno all day long! How will I survive another twenty five days of this? Maybe I can fake my death… What the hell? He just told me that if we were both part of some weird organization he wouldn't mind me being his superior. Like that would ever happen! Time to get out of this hell hole!

MARLUXIA

Day Ten – I've tried to tone down my enthusiasm since the day Zexy ran out of the apartment. It's been kind of working, but I think it's time to start seducing him. I mean, it has already been a third of our time together.

Day Eleven – Today I smacked his butt with a spoon. I was making him brownies, so he didn't punch me that hard. Now he's walking around with dried brownie batter on his butt. I would lick it off for him, but I don't think he'd appreciate it. Oh, that reminds me, I've been asking around and no one has slept with him, nor even knows who he has slept with. Methinks my little Zexy is still a virgin. Hehee, it'll make seducing him even harder, but so much more enjoyable. Tomorrow I'm wearing my bondage gear.

ZEXION

Day Twelve – Dear god, what is he wearing? It's all straps and leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. I've decided to just ignore him, but it's kinda hard to do that when he "accidentally" brushes his crotch against me. I was blushing so fucking hard that I didn't even punch him. What the fuck does he want? Why the hell does he like me of all people? I'm just the emotionless librarian dude who won't tolerate people fucking with me.

MARLUXIA

Day Thirteen – Today, I'm going to kiss him again. But, I'll surprise him so he doesn't punch me. Maybe I should do it in public so it'll embarrass him? Ehehee…

ZEXION

Day Thirteen – Kill me please. I'd rather people know I like wearing dresses than thinking I'm fucking Marluxia. It happened today while he was walking me to class. He stopped midsentence while talking about his fascination with giant squids and grabbed me while simultaneously tripping me. I dipped into one of those ridiculous back-bend swoons and he started kissing me again. My brain kept telling me to punch him, but he'd managed to pin my arms between us since I was carrying books for class. I struggled to get free by wiggling but froze when he grabbed my crotch. Oh no way in fucking hell! I started kicking, even though I knew it would cause me to fall. He finally released me, letting me fall in the dirt while he skipped away stupidly. The deal is so off once I find the stupid dead fucker.

MARLUXIA

Day Fourteen – I've been hiding in my dorm room. He doesn't even know that I live on campus, so I'll be safe. Maybe grabbing him _there _was a bit too much. But it was so much fun, I couldn't resist. And his little squeal of surprise was just adorable! It's fine, I'll get him a gift to "apologize". Then, I'll continue seducing my little Zexy.

ZEXION

Day Fifteen – Marluxia was gone for a day, but today he showed up with an Xbox 360 and apologized. I didn't believe him, but I really wanted the Xbox, so I let him back in. I haven't heard anyone gossiping about our little scene two days ago, I can only hope that no one saw it.

Day Sixteen – Wow, he's been really nice. And actually acting like a normal person. We've been playing nonstop on the 360 and he's been dressing normally. I guess I could get used to hanging out with him so long as he doesn't try to feel me up. He's also actually fun to talk to when he picks a topic that I actually care about.

MARLUXIA

Day Twenty – Okay, I've been acting as Zexy's best buddy for the past few days, time to become more than friends. Today, it's patting. For example, "Hey, you won the game? Good job." Pat on back. Or I'll try, "Damn, you failed calc? Well Mr. ____'s a stupid ass anyway." Pat on arm. Maybe I'll even get to, "Hey, those clothes are really becoming on you, if I was on you, I'd be coming too." Pat on butt.

Day Twenty-one – It's working! Yesterday, I patted him about ten times and was only punched when I "accidentally" patted his butt. Yay! And soon, Zexy will be all mine! Muhaha! Today, I'm going to keep patting and try hugging. Maybe just for greetings and goodbyes, but hopefully I'll be able to do so without being killed.

ZEXION

Day Twenty-two – Something's wrong. He is scheming or something. He's been acting like my best friend for about a week now and completely chaste 100% of the time. Well, maybe 95% cause he touched my butt once, but he claimed it was an accident, so maybe he's given up on fucking me and just wants to be friends. Yesterday he even hugged me before he left for class. I guess it's okay to be touched by Marluxia, but not anywhere where it's weird!

Day Twenty-six – I actually really like Marluxia now. When he's not trying to annoy me, he's actually really cool. His smell of flowers is actually pleasing now. And he's an awesome hugger. Maybe I'll ask him to stay longer since I'll be alone for the next semester too, as my roommate, Demyx, will still be in Japan. Marluxia is so energetic, but not in the way like I felt before that it was sucking my energy up, but instead it's a catching energy that makes me want to hang with him more.

Day Twenty-eight – Today, Marluxia kissed me. On the cheek. And it was okay. I mean, girls kiss each other goodbye all the time, why can't guys do it too? I think he didn't really think about it, but was surprised that I didn't hit him after he realized what he did. I think it's because most of his friends on campus are girls, so maybe he acts like them because he's been hanging out with them so much. Maybe I should get him to hook me up with one of them. If we hit it off, maybe she'll be my girlfriend. I think I should try sex. I mean, it's not like I'm marrying them, right?

MARLUXIA

Day Twenty-eight – The plan is working!! Today I "unconsciously" kissed Zexy and he totally bought it! Our time is drawing to a close. Time to sink or swim. Whatever that means, I'm going to kiss him. I hope he kisses back.

ZEXION

Today started like any day. The difference is that it's Marluxia's last day with me. I wonder if he has any other place to live. He's so caring; I'm surprised he doesn't have a girlfriend. Or boyfriend, if that's what he wants. I've made up my mind to ask him to live with me at least 'till Dem gets back. I wonder what he'll think of Marluxia. I hope they'll like each other.

MARLUXIA

I talked to Axel today. I can't believe I'm actually nervous about kissing Zexy. I mean, he's sexy Zexy! I've wanted to do this since I first fell in love with him after spying him shelving books in the library. And I have kissed him. I know he's fond of me. But what if he doesn't like me the same way? Axel, giver of wonderful advice, put it this way, "If you love him so much then just grab him and kiss him. If he doesn't hit you, you're fine." Stupid Axel. With his stupid red hair and perfect relationship with his precious Roxas. Unfortunately, his plan is the best I've got. So I'm going with the surprise kiss again. Hey, I never said I was original.

The door just opened. He's back. I don't think I can do it.

"Marluxia?" His voice is like music to my ears. Maybe I could be satisfied to just be his friend. His head pokes around the corner. Hi darling, would you care for a session of passionate sweaty sex on the floor? I would offer the counter, but we might fall off.

If only.

ZEXION

He looks sad. Well it is his last day living here. Well, not really, I've just asked him if he'd care to stay longer. He's smiling and hugging me. This is nice; he's warm and smells relaxing. I wrap my arms around his neck and he's showering my face with pecks of kisses. I laugh at his enthusiasm and-

Wait just a fucking second. Real dudes don't do this. What the fuck have I been thinking? This is just- just wrong. Guys don't have this kind of relationship unless they're… fucking. We aren't fucking. I'm not attracted to him. I should just kick him out now. That's what I'll do.

"Marluxia," I say, all business so he lets go of me and looks into my face. "I've decided that it actually wouldn't be a good idea for us to continue living together because- because…" Well fuck, what was the reason again? Something about fucking. My words hurt him. He looks so disappointed. Like a kicked puppy, a drowned kicked puppy. I want to comfort him. His lower lip is wibbling. He's about to cry. But he can't start crying, otherwise I'll…

So to prevent him from crying, I smash my face into his. Our lips make contact and all I can think of now is trying to devour his face. Why can't we stay together? Why can't we kiss and be friends? Damn other guys, fuck their preconceived notions! If I wanna fuck another dude, I damn well will!

Marluxia pulls away from me. I've bitten his lip in my anger. A single drop of crimson blood wells up on the edge of his bottom lip. The seconds tick by, and I'm growing more and more nervous as he remains silent, just staring at me.

"Did you mean it?" he sounds like I kicked him.

"Fuck yeah," I whisper, pulling his head towards mine and resting our foreheads together. I feel rather than hear his sigh of relief and he tilts my face up, slowly closing the distance between our lips. I taste the metallic taste of his blood and lose myself in his warmth, wetness, this togetherness, this ecstasy.

I am content.

8


End file.
